It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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