If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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