Three words: puerto rican gang bang
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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