I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
the condom got lost in my hair
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
