We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
farters have to be the big spoon...
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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