It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
