turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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