My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
