Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
