Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
