I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I still have a little drunk in my system
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
