I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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