I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
