just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
