Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
