You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
