It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
