I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
