i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
