a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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