i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
