hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
