So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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