he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
