I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
