Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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