please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
