I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
