Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Randomize
