lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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