dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
