are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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