His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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