Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
