this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
