Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
