I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
it's like heaven, but drunker
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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