He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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