So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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