with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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