Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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