Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Randomize
