Dual....:-)
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
