I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize