Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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