Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
