BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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