Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
