Sponge bath it is.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
