I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
