I'm going to jail i love you
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
