she takes plan B like it's going out of style
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize