I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Randomize
