just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
