Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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