Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
