I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
