Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
