She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Randomize
