3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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