I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
it's like iHOP with fire
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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