i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
