so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
