Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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