shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Actions speak louder than pants.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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