Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
