i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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