would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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