all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
