Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
My balls are so social today.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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